A Brother's Perspective

Mike and I were asked to speak at Church today. Because of our recent hospital stay, exhaustion, and Jeremy's zero ANC count, I stayed home to take care of him. Jacob, our 15 year old son, was willing to speak in my place. I love the talk that Jacob wrote. He wrote from his heart and shared his feelings and perspective about Jeremy's cancer. With his permission, I am posting it to our blog.

When Jeremy was three years old he came fishing with me my dad and Ireland at lost creek. It was a hot sunny day but we got there early in the day so it was cool to begin with. We were in our little fishing boat and we slowly trolled around the lake, I caught the first fish so we all changed our lures to the same pattern that I was using so we could all catch fish. We got Jeremy’s pole set up first so we decided to troll with his pole while we set up the others. Immediately he began to roll in his line, saying “I got one I got one” while humming the song from bass masters 2000 which is a video game he liked to play. We all started to tell him that it was just the drag that the water makes while trolling, so he stopped reeling in. But then he started reeling in again, so we decided just let him reel in. About one minute later he pulls the last of his line in the boat, and there was a nice trout on the lure. He was right that he actually caught one, and he caught three more afterwards.

I love to be outside all the time, I mostly fish, hunt camp, and hike. I love to ski and snowshoe, I just love to be in the mountains and fields. I know that Heavenly Father has blessed me to be able to live in such a great area where all my favorite activities are close by and easy to get to. I know that he knew that I loved the mountains and fields so much that he sent me to a family that lived here.

When I first found out about Jeremy I felt very sad and scared. I had an idea of what kind of treatment he would be receiving from other cancer patients that I had seen from school. I was sad because I knew that he would change and that we wouldn’t get to do some of our activities together for the next year or so. Also we had talked about how if Jeremy wants me to I will get the privilege of being the one who baptizes him when he turns eight. I liked having the idea that I would get the chance if he wanted me to. But when I learned about his tumor I thought that I might not get the chance to baptize him or see him at that age.

 I am going to read 1^st Samuel 16: 7 “But the lord said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance. Or the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearence, but the lord looketh upon the heart.”

I was seeing Jeremy with worldly eyes and saw him not as strong as Heavenly Father saw him. But now I see Jeremy as a very strong 5 year-old, I see it most often when something like his port needs to be accessed for blood. When he gets his port accessed we put on a numbing cream on the skin over his port and then the home health nurse sticks a big fat needle through his skin to reach his port. The location his port is at makes him need to lift his shirt up or pull the collar down, pulling the collar down is what he prefers. He does things like his port without even crying or fighting, because he knows that this is what needs to be done. Heavenly father knew Jeremy better than anyone on this earth that he knew Jeremy would be able to be calm and have the courage to get through cancer. I know that just like Jeremy Heavenly Father has not forgotten me or anyone else on this earth.

The first thing that Jeremy wants to do this summer when he is better is to go fishing as much as possible. We have planned to do lots of fishing trips when he is better and I can’t wait to do them with him. I know that this church is true, that our prophet tells us the truth, and our Heavenly Father will never forget us no matter what happens to us. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.