Cancer Stinks!

On October 5, 2011, I went into the McKay Dee surgical center in Ogden to have my tonsils removed. Instead, the doctors found a cancerous tumor growing behind my tonsils. It's called "Nasopharyngeal Rhabdomyosarcoma" and I'm told it's curable about 80% of the time for someone like me. It's going to be a long road, but I think it's going to be 100%.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Melt Down!

Yesterday was an emotional day. When I told Jeremy it was time for chemo, he changed out of the pajamas that he slept in, into some old pajamas that are a size 4. I suggested that maybe it would be better to wear clothes to chemo since it was outpatient today. He got very emotional and insisted on wearing these pajamas. This was unlike him and I decided not to push it, and let him wear the old pajamas to the hospital. As we were driving to the hospital Jeremy had a complete melt down and did not stop crying until we reached Salt Lake City. As I talked with him, he calmed down and seemed fine by the time we reached the hospital. In the waiting room there is usually a craft or art project for the children to do while they wait. Jeremy was cutting out a paper puppet when the nurse asked him to come over to the scale for his weight and vitals. Jeremy ignored her and kept cutting the paper. She asked again and he kept cutting. I told him that he could keep working on his puppet in the room while we wait for the doctor. He kept cutting away. I told him the quicker we do chemo the faster we get to go home. He kept cutting and said, "I want to go home now." The nurse said "He is usually so cooperative, I have never seen him like this. I'll be back in a few minutes." I looked helplessly at the other two mothers who were waiting with their child. The one mother said, "My daughter was the same way. She was very cooperative until the last few weeks of chemo. It gets so hard to do after so many months." The other mother nodded with empathy. By the look on her teenage son's face, it was obvious that he did not want to do his chemo either. The nurse returned with Rachelle, the child life specialist. Rachelle asked Jeremy if he was having a rotten day. Jeremy continued working on his puppet. She told him that when she is having a rotten day, and feels rotten, she likes to throw rotten eggs. Jeremy looked up at her. She asked Jeremy if he would like to throw a rotten egg. She threw down a rubber egg and when it hit the floor, it looked like a fried egg. She handed the egg for Jeremy to throw. After he threw it at the floor a couple of times, she asked him if he would like to throw it at a wall. Jeremy nodded yes. Rachelle said, "There are a lot of pictures and people in here, it would be better to throw it against the wall over there (the wall by the scale). Jeremy walked over to the wall by the scale and threw the egg. Rachelle than asked Jeremy if he would like to make a target to throw his egg at. He nodded. She then suggested that while the nurse gets his weight and vitals she will get some supplies and meet him in his room. 


Rachelle kept talking with Jeremy as he threw his egg. He threw it so hard, that it broke and water splashed all over. We laughed and he felt much better. 
Jeremy making slime.
Dr. Spraker came in and Jeremy was excited to tell her about the rotten egg making a big splash and the slime that he made. She told Jeremy that he only has to do five more chemotherapy treatments. Three hospital stay chemos and two outpatient chemos. She also told Jeremy how proud she is of him for doing his chemo and how pleased she is with the results. When the nurse came in to access his port and administer his chemo, he started to withdraw again. After some gentle persuasion he reluctantly cooperated. When we were leaving everyone praised Jeremy for his courage and bravery for doing chemo. What a great hospital! Today he is happy. We are not sure what to expect next chemo, we might need another egg! 






Sunday, May 20, 2012

Back to Chemo

Jeremy's ANC was 900, finally it was high enough to do chemo last Thursday. We started his anti nausea medication earlier, it helped a little, not much. We have decided that it is what it is...chemo. Chemo is the price you pay to be cancer free. We are learning endurance as we see this to the end!



Ireland has been very good at entertaining Jeremy when his ANC is low and he can not go out. One day she put a pom pom and hat on Jeremy. They came to me laughing, "Look Jeremy has hair!"


Monday, May 14, 2012

Chemo delayed again!

Jeremy's ANC slightly increased to 678, still not high enough for chemo. He will have blood drawn on Wednesday. Hopefully it will be high enough for chemo on Thursday. This is the third delay for his chemo. We are a little frustrated that this is not going as "planned". We are hoping to be finished with chemo by the end of July, so that Jeremy will have a month to recover before school starts. We are realizing that he is still vulnerable and complications may arise. During these last weeks of chemo the body gets tired and it may take longer to recover, especially for the bone marrow to continually make new blood cells. If Jeremy continually struggles with a low ANC, it will make for a challenging summer. It delays his chemo, which delays the end of treatment (he still has to complete all of his chemo treatments). He is more susceptible to infection and illness, so we can not take him to church or other public places, and he can not have play dates. It also makes him feel tired. Jeremy was not put out that chemo was delayed! I told him no chemo today maybe on Thursday and he cheered "yippee"!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

ANC Still Low

Jeremy's ANC is still at 600, so chemo is cancelled again. The plan is to wait until Sunday for a blood draw, if his ANC is high enough, then he will have chemo on Monday.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Chemo Cancelled Today

Dr. Spraker cancelled Jeremy's chemo today. His ANC (absolute neutrophil count, ability to fight infection) is  low. Jeremy's ANC is 600. The ANC needs to be at 750 for chemo treatments. He will have blood drawn again on Thursday and if his ANC is high enough, he will do chemo on Friday. For now we have to keep him home and be extra careful from exposure to germs. I had a feeling that his numbers had dropped. He has been tired and is complaining that his arm hurts. When the ANC count is low, it can cause tiredness and muscle pain.

Even though he was tired he still wanted to play with friends yesterday. When I told him that he could not play, he was sad and said, "but my tumor is small, I can play with my friends now". I had to explain to him that although his tumor is small, he is still sick and vulnerable while he finishes chemotherapy. His ANC has to be at least a 1000 to be able to play with friends (a normal ANC is 3,000-5,000). It is going to be a challenge this summer on the days that Jeremy will not be able to play with friends. It is hard for him to see the kids outside playing and not be able to join them.

Although we are still fighting the daily battle, we have much to be thankful for! We are so thankful to know that the radiation and chemotherapy are working! We have successful results! We still need to see this through, three more months of chemo, but the positive results have eased our minds. We are thankful for the excellent medical treatment that Jeremy has received.

My heart is full of gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father who hears our prayers, knows our needs, and strengthens us to endure our trials. I am thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ, "He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye. He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my souls complaint. He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart." (Hymn #136, I Know That My Redeemer Lives, second verse)